The cycle of life and death is something that is affects us all but some would rather not include the word "cycle".  We are all familiar with the expression "...the human condition..." and if we can accept that there is a cycle, we can refer to it as Samsara (continuous movement).  If we can accept Samsara then we can begin to understand that the road is long, to the point of being never ending.  If this is the case, then of course, there is no Spoon!

Below are many aspects and perspectives that may help us flow with taking the next best step(s) on that road.

In the beginning there was the heaven and earth, sound familiar? The Beginning appears to occur at the moment you are conceived and at that moment the Soul joins its vehicle for the Journey through the present lifetime. At this point we might assume that our Ego is a blank piece of paper and our Consciousness does not yet exist. Our Soul perhaps knows everything but it is trapped in a vehicle that has not yet developed. Not many can remember the moment they come into this world, take their first breath and have a good scream but we know it happens and we have watched others do it.

Enlightenment is a greatly sought after achievement, the goal of our existence, the light at the end of the dark tunnel, or is it? If we can accept that there is no Goal on our Journey then we can start to consider that Enlightenment is not the finish line. If "discernment" is a key word for us then Enlightenment would bring perfect clarity for taking the next best step(s). Enlightenment is the state of being fully awake and should mean we have the ulimate clarity. Some might think that there is a state of bliss that comes from being fully awake and Enlightened but that is not something we should expect, Desire or become Attached to. What is more likely is that we see everything and just like the Crazy Wisdom suggests, the razors edge can be a daunting place to be. Perhaps it would be healthier to see Enlightenment as just being the state where everything is clear, even if what can be seen comes with great responsibility.

What will surprise many people is that there should not really be a Goal.  Yes, I hear you, "...surely there must be a goal?...", well there is a problem with having Goals.  The problem with Goals is also mention in more detail in the Attachment section but for now we will just say that Goals create Attachments and Attachements will hold us back on our Journey.  It would be natural for us to see life as a Goal, seek out the finish line and take as many short-cuts as possible so that we reach the target ahead of expectations.  To consider that there is no Goal is going to a hard pill to swallow.

In the less traditional sense we might be able to say that the real Goal is to take the next best step(s) on the path.  Ah, so there is a Goal?  Well, not in the traditional sense, just keep taking the next best step(s).  So, there are steps and a direction to go in?  No, I don't think there are, there isn't the kind of structure that we are used to seeing, increasing levels and a medal when you reach the top.  If we focus on imaginary levels, see ourselves far behind our teachers, need to achieve Goals and monitor progress, we will hold ourselves back.

Everything should be embraced with willingness and surrender so that emotions cannot manifest into fears.  Relate to everything as an ongoing process and keep taking those next best steps with awareness.

Happiness is not just about feeling pleasure. Happiness should be what occurs by leading a healthy and fulfilling lifestyle, working hard, helping others and flowing with the Universe. It can be too easy to become Attached to the comforts in life and constantly seek them so that we can say we are Happy, this may bring the emotion that we are looking for but it will not help us on our Journey, it will hold us back. It can be a hard reality to start to see how much we cling on to the comforts and how much we resist losing them, it can almost feel like losing part of ourselves. Moving towards the more fulfilling lifestyle will be an interesting transition as our Ego has to let go of its gratifications but it will slowly become clear that this newer version of Happiness feels more balanced.

Freedom, surprisingly, doesn't have the same relation to the word Free that we might have come to understand.  Having Freedom and being Free means being empowered to make choices in our lives. We might think that the only way that we can become more aware is to shed all our possessions and burndens, Free ourselves and move forwards.  Well, here is a different perspective, how about living an integrated life?  What does this mean? OK, there is the potential reality of living a monastic life, perhaps on a distant mountain where you are exposed to nothing else but yourself, could this be the more efficient path to Enlightenment?  There is the other potential of where you probably are now, afterall you are sitting with some kind of electronic device and connected to the Internet.  We have the potential to integrate our busy lives with our Practices to flow with the Universe and make consistent contributions to its evolution.  Afterall, if you arrive on the mountain and you feel that you have with you Zen, it is most likely the Zen that you brought with you!

The cycle of life and death is something that effects us all but some would rather not include the word "cycle".  It is easy to become Attached to who we are, what we have and where we think we are and this can cause some interesting Detours on our Journey.  From one moment to the next we are not the person we were before, we are the latest version of ourselves and that is a continuous process.  Once we can accept that everything is constantly changing we might be able to let go of some of our fears of change.  With willingness, acceptance and surrender we can take our next step(s) into the unknown without the need to feel comfortable.  The same goes for everything around us, the people we love and the things we enjoy, they are all going to change.  Hopefully that doesn't sound too gloomy, its not bad news, its just reality and we just need to know that as change occurs, there are Beginnings and Endings, there will always be processes and work to do for the Universe and we don't need to know too much about what is coming and going.

This isn't going to sit will with our Ego's at all, it wants things, it wants them when it wants them and it wants them for as long as it wants them.  This of course also goes for things that it doesn't want.  A good example is during the Practice of Meditation when things just hurt.  I'm sure someone once said that "..if it doesn't hurt, you are not doing it right..." but that sounds a little harsh.  The fact is, stuff can disturb the process, it could be an itch, it could be an ache, it could be a sound, the list goes on.  One interesting thing that accepting Impermanence should help with is the knowledge that whatever it is that is disturbing you, it will either fade away or become unimportant, it will no longer disturb you once your Ego knows that it isn't going to win that minor battle.

Does this mean that we should be sad about Endings, no we should not.  The magic still exists and as something Ends, something else Begins.

The Present moment is where we take the next best step.  The past is made up of many Present moments that we have had.  The future is made up of many present moments we are about to have.  If we can be mindful and aware during the Present moment, the future and the past should not be a problem.  Being in the Present moment is one of the keys to everything, it will provide enough breathing space to observe ourselves, the rising Emotions, the Desires and aversions and allow us to Respond instead of React to each and every situation.  If your relationship with the present moment isn't right, nothing in the future can be right.  When the future comes, its already the past.

Don't live in the past and fear the future!

Instead of looking into the past and wishing that different actions were taken or looking into the future and feeling fear about what actions are coming, just be in the Present moment, be the best version of yourself, breathe and take the next best step.

You are an Onion, there, I said it, phew!  So, what does that mean exactly?  Well, I think that we all agree that we have a Soul, almost everyone would agree that we have Consciousness and hopefully many would agree that we have an Ego.  Just there, we have three layers and there are more (eg unconscious, emotions, persona, intuition etc) but not to be covered here, its a deep subject.  The three mentioned should be enough to get us thinking about the interconnection and how we may identify with them. 

As everyone is likely to identify with our Soul, the Spirit within, it should be OK to state that it joined our physical body some time around the Beginning and at the End parts ways with our physical body again.  If we agree that the Soul has been around a while, possibly many lifetimes, then we might agree that it knows a lot.  Yet, we seem to have difficulty to tap into it's knowledge and experiences.  The Soul I would imagine sits at the center of the Onion. 

OK, so lets put down the Soul for a bit and move on to Consciousness which to me is what I call "I" and this is because I relate to it as the "...I think therefore I am...".  Counsciousness I would put near the outer layers but at this stage I don't find it so important to know exactly which.  I suppose I would say that Consciousness is something that gets switched near the Beginning and develops with time but is also a culmination of other aspects/layers of the Onion. 

The last of the three is the Ego is another aspect that starts off somewhere near the Beginning and develops, but this time we have something that has a different agenda!  The Ego wants to be king of the castle, it is devoted to controlling all and sundry.  I'm sure we can exist as pure Ego and perhaps that is what is meant when people are referred to as Soul-less.  I can imagine that the Soul is a bit confused when it comes into this World as it has to deal with this thing, this incapable layer that connects it to reality.  Of course its not all bad, our physical body is going to need attention and the Ego is a great deliverer of attention, it will ensure that the body gets everything it needs from our supporters.  Again, I would put the Ego near the outer layers of the Onion, perhaps the outermost!  The Ego goes forwards in life with us and has great potential to protect us from pain and suffering, it will help us to bring closer the things we like and push away the things we don't like.  The problem is that the Ego is not very moral and will bypass important values to get what it wants.  This is great for survival but its not great for the evolution of the Universe or those around us that might be exposed to it.

You might be wondering why I chose to suggest Consciousness as "I" and not Ego?  Well, that is a good question.  As someone who has let my Ego "pull the wool over my eyes" and generally control me, I might once have said that Ego  was "I" but today I can say that my Ego no longer "runs the show".  No, I'm not saying that I am Ego-less or anything like it, I'm just saying that I've seen how the Ego behaves and I have some Discernment of when it is trying to take control and when it is not.  And rather than renouncing my Ego, I now have a relationship with it.  I'm not saying we are best buddies but I can say that we work together more closely to do a better job of taking the next best step(s).

A more traditional statement would be something like "...you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst...".  Well, as mentioned before, we are in the Universe and the Universe is within us.  The point being that we are Whole and to make up that whole we have many contributing parts. Our inner world is made up of masculine, feminine, parent, child, ego, consciousness, shadow and many other parts which I will not go into for the context of this website as the subject is very deep and it would be best to go to the reading section and seek out some further reading.  From the time we are born, the different aspects of the thing we call Self are developing based on a number of influences that occur on our Journey and we will need great Discernment to navigate what is a minefield of obstacles that we will present ourselves with.  We will need great compassion for Self as we are essentially perfectly human and therefore perfectly imperfect!  Don't be afraid to look inwards and discover all those facinating parts that make us whole, the adventure will be full of challenges and surprises but the outcome will be fruitful.  The more we acknowledge all the aspects of ourselves and identify with them, the more chance we have of working with them and integrating them into a more Wholesome version of ourselves.

What we can't see or find in ourselves we will unconsciously seek in others.  That one kind of sounds weird but it is true and is quite similar to the expression "...opposites attract...".  From around the time we come into this world, and as we continue, we feel that there is something or many things that are missing in our lives, the Core Wound has already been mentioned and essentially we can say there are Gaps.  Our first thoughts will be that we need to fill the gaps with somethings, this would be logical, but what we don't see easily is that we are supposed to fill the gaps internally, not fill the gaps with things externally.  Only thorugh developing ourselves will be become more whole and until that time we are vulnerable to Projection.  Projection is also sometimes called Transference but both essentially mean that we seek to Substitute what is missing from external sources, especially when in close relationships with other people, eg mother and child, partners, therapist and patient, or teacher and student.

It does not only come in the form of filling our gaps but it can also be used to put things we don't want, onto others.  The happens especially with Blame, we might not want to accept certains things we have done or ways that we behave so we will blame someone else in an effort to eleviate ourselves of the burden that we are actually carrying and should own.

With some awareness and Discernment we should be able to see where this might be happening for us.  It might be the way we communicate with people, the way we say things to get a response from others and the way that we often feel very needy of others who can provide us with the things we don't like doing.  Remember, a giver can be as needy as the one receiving!

Something we often don't see that is right infront of us is that we have a tendency to merge with the people around us, we drift away from our own sovereignty without knowing. We forget that we should remain empowered as our individual selves and can happen in relationships with anyone.

There is an analogy of two boats sailing in the waters, the first is us and the other is another person, we start as the captains of our ships and from time to time we meet and greet. Those that feel strongly about Freedom might pass by but not want to stop for long and, they are keen to maintain their individuality and keep their Self separate and only see their Self. Those that have some Desire or need might decide that things look pretty good on the other boat, they like that person and they want to spend more time with them. It seems harmless enough, just hop over to the other boat and be closer to that person, it feels comfortable and convenient. So, now there are two people in the same boat and what has changed is that they are now going in a direction that depends on who is steering and where it was agreed to go. Still sounds OK, right? There is a danger of co-dependency in this scenario, eveything can blur and it becomes difficult to see the other person or their self. In both scenarios there is actually a lack of Freedom, neither has a choice to participate in the relationship and remain empowered as themselves. One is a need for a perceived Freedom and the the other is a need for a perceived collaboration.

There is a third more integrated scenario which is Differentiation. Each person remains in their boat, allowing both boats to travel together for periods of time (long or short), choices are empowered and there is no Desire or need, just a want to travel together. Communication will be congruent and differences will not only exist but be accepted, both people will be willing to turn up and will be able to see the other.

I have another analogy which is similar to the boats but in this case it is two fish in two separate fish bowls. The bowls are next to eachother and touching. The fish swim around happily and most of the time they see their own reflection in the glass of the bowl, they see their Self. Sometimes both fish will arrive at the point where the two bowls touch, as they approach the glass, they see their Self only but eventually they see the other fish and finally see eachother.

Desire is merely one emotion that we feel frequently or constantly on our Journeys and it tends to be a push or pull situation.  We either want something (pull) or we don't want something (push).  Usually we would refer to this as Desire and Aversion but in both cases it is either a Desire to have or a Desire to not have.  It can be difficult to relate to our Desires, especially if our Ego is running the show, we will want to pull towards all the things and activities that we like and push away all the things and activities that we don't like.  Desires can be very useful on our Journey of inner discovery as they can highlight patterns that we have developed over the years since we came into this world.  The most common Desire could be the one of Happiness, due to the misconception of what Happiness is, it is all too easy to pull towards ourselves all of the comforts in life that will give us a false sense of Happiness and push away everything that represents the discomforts that will prevent us from experiencing Happiness.  One we understand more the true definition of Happiness we will know that there are many discomforts that will contribute to our Happiness and hopefully help to lead us away from the constant Desire for comforts. 

In the story of Ramayana, it is Sita's Desire that lead her towards the forest, away from protection and allowed her to be captured.  Rama needed to overcome all of his fears and ask for help from the Gods to rescue her.

Desire is a great paradox, something that we yern for but will actually hold us back on our Journey.  As with Attachment, it does not mean that we must lead a monsatic lifestyle it merely means that we need to have enough Discernment to know what our Desires are, when we are experiencing them and how to not let them hold us back - we need to be aware enough to take the next best step(s).

Attachments are all around us, we tend not to see them but they are there ready and waiting for the moment when they will hold us back on our Journey.  Like Desires, Attachments are subtle and give us a sense of comfort and a reason to cling on to them.  Attachments come in many forms and affect us greatly, we don't identify with them if our Ego is running the show because they are one of the aspects of life that the Ego is skilled at.  A simple Attachment would be an emotion, for example fear, we encounter a situation that makes us feel uncomfortable like an interview or an exam, we are about to be put to the test and there might be serious consequences if we do not do our best.  Fear will arise, we will be scared of failure, scared that we will not remember the knowledge that is being tested or we might not give the clearest explaination.  As soon as the emotion of fear appears, we Attach to it and once we have done that it can grow, we are already passed the point of no return, the fear grows and eventually consumes us.  Fear will then prevent us from remembering the knowledge that we know we have and it will prevent us from speaking clearly.  The fear will turn from emotion into a physical reaction, before the exam or interview we might feel phycially sick, or during the interview we might shake uncontrollably.  All sounds very normal I'm sure, we have all experienced such events and the reactions that can occur.  The interesting word here is Reaction, it becomes a Reaction as soon as we allow the fear to creep in.  So, how can we prevent the fear from escalating into the impending doom that we want to avoid?  With some awareness and Discernment we can identify the emotion (in this example: fear) as soon as it appears, take a breath and say "...I see you...", now you have the emotion identified your Ego will not be able to drown you in it, you will see it for what it is, identify with it and be able to Respond.  The important word now changes from React to Respond, you have just given yourself enough breathing space to quench the fire that the emotion was about to unleash on you.  Whether it is an emotion or an itch, nothing lasts forever, we have already accepted Impermanence and the constant change that it brings, how could we possible be disturbed by a mere emotion or an itch?  No sooner has the emotion appeared on your radar and been identified, it no longer has the fuel and power that it needs to grow and therefore it will subside and die.

Of course Attachments come in many forms, physical, psychological and emotional, and yet again we should not need to live a monastic life, removing all of the objects around us that we might attach to, we should instead use our daily practices to help us have enough awareness and Discernment to be able to Respond instead of React and thus, take the next best step(s)!

Karma is a delicate subject because by definition it means "action". We might assume or have been lead to believe that Karma is all about us and is some kind of suffering that we have brought on ourselves. The perspective here is that it is not that simple, the work that the Universe has presented you with is not necessarily because of your own actions. On your Journey you have the constantly changing ability to do work for the Universe and you will be presented with work that you can work with. The work that you are given could be because you need something, it could be because of what someone else (past or present) needs or has done and has been passed on to you or it might be something that is totally unrelated to you. Brush away any heavy feelings of "why" it landed on your doorstep and start to seek the solution, the Universe will greatly appreciate your contribution.

Compassion is the feeling we have to remove suffering, not only for ourselves but for everyone.  It is an important aspect of our Journey because it can be very difficult to relate to, there are cases where we show ourselves Compassion and not others, there are also cases where we show others Compassion and not ourselves.  It is easy for us to either not identify at all with Compassion or to misunderstand its full scope. 

Compassion is a big subject and we can spend a lifetime studying it, like many aspects on the Journey, we may even choose to become a Bodhichitta who has didcated their life to Compassion.  After a lifetime of such practice we may reach Enlightenment and decided to come back because our Compassion is so strong that we want to dedicate further lifetimes to Compassion as a Bodhisattva.

We must also not forget that there is the opposite of Compassion, which also comes in various forms but one that we should all know well is Criticism, we can be experts and criticising ourselves and others, and this can lead to a very heavy trail of destruction.  It is all too easy to become Attached to the emotions that we feel for ourselves and towards others, and this may lead to holding us back on our Journey or even to the point of becoming paralyzed due to the heavy weight.  It is important to be aware of what we and other do, where we might have taken the lesser step(s) and how might we be more aware next time such that we can take the next best step(s).

There are many ways to go off the path during our Journey.  Our Ego's are very clever and can create deceptions and illusions that make us feel like our current reality is the right one and that we are taking the best step(s).  We will need our Practices and a healthy dose of Discernment to be able to see through these illusions.  The Detours come in many forms, which are mostly referred to here as Spiritual Detours, such as Spiritual Materialism, Spiritual Bypassing and Spiritual Cul-de-Sac.  Spiritual Materialism is pretty much as it sounds, it is an illusion of collecting souvenirs along our journey that give us a false sense of have achieved goals and that we are making great progress.  Spiritual Bypassing is the illusion that we can take short-cuts to allow us to achieve more goals in a shorter time, or to assume that we have already made achievements or even think that we have arrived.  One of my favourites is the Spiritual Cul-de-Dac, or as I like to call it, The Rollercoaster.  The Rollercoaster happens as we go along our journey and decide that we like the look of something and fancy a quick ride.  Just a bit of fun perhaps but what comes next is an illusion.  We are enjoying the ride so much that when it comes around to the start again we convince ourselves that actually the ride isn't over, there is more work to do and more steps to take!  We then get so used to this feeling that we believe that we are on a good journey and taking many good steps.  Unfortunately the reality is that we are stuck, pedal to the metal and going around in circles achieving very little except for fun! Hopefully our Practices will allows to break through these illusions and get back on the real path of taking the next real step(s). It won't be easy our Ego will resist greatly, it will not like changing its reality.

The ultimate kind of Detour is Narcissism, which is: A pervasive pattern of grandiosity, whether in fantasy or behaviours, a deep need for admiration, and a perceived lack of empathy (actually a lack of caring), exhibited in early adulthood and presented in a variety of contexts.

Some traits might appear as follows:

• Perceived lack of empathy: although often described as a lack of empathy, the reality is that they know how others feel but are unwilling to recognise, care for or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
• Grandiose sense of self-importance: exaggerates achievements, knowledge and capabilities and expects to be recognised as superior without evidential validation.
• Sense of entitlement: unreasonable expectations of treatment by others and/or expected compliance with their expectations in entirety, giving no quarter.
• Exploitative: takes advantage of others to achieve their own goals.
• Envious nature: an inflated sense of being envied by others but in reality, envious of others to the point of hate and resentment.
• Requires excessive admiration: will seek/demand that others pay compliments and recognise any and every perceived achievement, no matter how small or fantastical.
• Center of the Universe: believes that nothing earthly really "touches" them, that they are "special", unique and can only be understood by and associated with other special or high-status entities.
• Preoccupied with fantasies: of unlimited professional/personal/financial success, power, brilliance and perfect love.

Whilst we can all experience Detours, we can also have Narcissistic tendencies depending on how much fear, shame and guilt that is causing us pain. Some might remain with their fear, shame and guilt and keep their pain. Some might tend towards allowing others to subjugate (control) them and increase their pain. Some tend to have a desperate need to free themselves of their pain and start to exhibit the traits of the Narcissist and thus, it is possible to lift the pain (temporarily) by making others feel more fear, shame and guilt. This is especially easy if the other person is willing to be subjugated (controlled).

In the Karpman drama triangle, the Narcissist will tell you they are the victim and you are the Persecutor but the reality is that the Narcissist is the Persecutor, you are the victim, and somehow, you feel like the rescuer! You really feel like you are doing good but you are being told its all your fault and the reality is that you are being abused. Get your head round that one! Think of a Narcissist as an extremely selfish tyrant, skilled at using the traits above to manipulate others to make themselves feel better at any cost. As you can imagine, should you find one, the most common advice is to run!.

Wisdom is the application of knowledge.  Knowledge on its own is not as valuable as we might think.  How many people do you know that they have gained wisdom by reading a book?  If only it were so simple but the reality is that its going to take more work than just regurgitating someone elses words.

In the same way you can't teach people Character, it is something that must be developed for it to be real Wisdom.  What we learn from external sources, such as teachings or  books, must be applied to our daily lives, only then will we fully understand what it means.  We know in ourselves when we truly understand something, it is when we are able to put it clearly in our words and not just repeat what we have been told.  If we can develop a consistent process, like is discussed in the Psychology section, we will be able to turn our thoughts and feelings into reality, and along with kthat nowledge we might have a path to some Wisdom.

So, by now we have hopefully realised that the End is not something to fear and hopefully also not something to ignore. In the Beginning our Soul joined the vehicle that we call our body and there it met our Ego, during its final hour(s) that process is going to get reversed as they separate again and it is a process that has important implications. As with everything in life there is a flow and to take our next best step(s) we should better understand the process that comes at the End.  Its a big subject and not something I will go into more detail for the context of this website.  We will have noticed through personal experience or from observations along our Journey, during our final hour(s) we will benefit from having company, we will benefit from knowing that its OK to move on, everyone we leave behind will be OK and that no-one (including ourselves) is trying to cling on to attachments that will hold us back.  As with every step we took on our Jouney we should be as aware as possible during our final hour(s).

In fact, we have mini Endings on a daily basis, if you have ever noticed the occassional jolt as you drift off to sleep, that is your brain sending an alert to your body because it thinks it is about to die!  So, we kind of die on a daily basis.  You may also have noticed that if you are falling asleep unintentionally (like I do when I'm reading and you might be doing while reading this website) you might get some interesting visuals/thoughts appear briefly while you are impersonating a "nodding donkey", it is probably the start of a dream or perhaps something else of interest?!?